Get Moving!
Tonight, I’ve found myself all alone at home and the introvert in me is having the best one-woman party! Evening run, nice hot bath with bath bomb, candle, a cheeky shot of baileys, and a good book. After a crazy week in which I was out all evening 6 out of the 7 days, I was craving some recharge time.
Some of you, maybe many of you, may have cringed when I mentioned going for a run as part of my fun. I get it, I do! I only started running about 3 months before I became pregnant with my second daughter. I never thought I’d enjoy it. But when I started running after she was born (she was 4 months old) it was out of necessity. My medication for my anxiety/PND wasn’t right and it wasn’t helping. It was a few months before it got sorted out and I didn’t know how to cope, in limbo, waiting for counselling. I was desperate to get my head out of the haze, to ‘snap’ myself out of it somehow. And while running didn’t cure it, it sure did help. I was so low, feeling so helpless and hopeless. My head felt so out of my control. I started wondering what it would feel like, to be free from this. I fantasized about ending it all, several times. Just thinking about it almost gave me relief. But they were just thoughts. At no point was I ever going to go through with it. All it took was for me to think of my girls and I knew I could never do that to them. I’m one of the lucky ones. Some people are so deep in depression that nothing has enough hold to keep them here. My heart aches for them and their loved ones. I knew I was heading down a dangerous path in my thinking though, and I had to change something. So, I started running. It was hard. Really hard! It took several weeks for me to not practically collapse at the front door when I finished. But, I had to do it for my family, so I stuck to it. 3 or 4 times a week.
The change in me was amazing! I became much more productive on days when I had been for a run. I became more pleasant to be around. More cheerful, relaxed and patient. Less irritable. Some days, my husband would get home and after a few minutes would say, “You haven’t been for a run, have you?” Ouch. But it was true every time he said that! That’s how much difference it made. The sense of achievement was great! There have been many, many days when I didn’t feel like it and made excuses, but his encouragement got me out the door. That was kind of the hardest bit, getting my gear on and just getting out the door.
It’s really hard to stick to it, especially with my one-year-old not sleeping through most nights, and very often my 3-year-old decides to get on board, and I end up getting up several times a lot of the nights. I could make a lot of excuses for not getting out there and doing my run, and I’d probably feel quite justified. I’m tired. I haven’t had a whole night’s sleep in weeks! I have so much to do…
But excuses don’t get the job done. And I really need the endorphins to keep coming at me. So if I haven’t gotten much sleep – who cares? If I have a lot to do – running is a top priority. Just. Do. It.
While I’m doing pretty well these days, I want to look after myself and be the best version of myself – for my sake and for everyone else’s! I’m finally medication free, as of a couple of weeks ago! So, it’s time to put some healthy habits in place (or keep ‘em going!). Kind of funny, I initially felt quite anxious about the idea of coming off my anxiety medication. It makes me giggle, the irony of it. But here I am – in one piece. One functioning piece. Who knew I could do it? While I was out for a run a few weeks ago, I was praying about what to do about this medication business. I’ve found my running time to also be a really good time for praying – even if it’s only a desperate, almost comical, “Give me strength!” kind of prayer. It’s been a great time for praying for others too. So, I was running and praying about what to do, and God told me that He would take care of me when things fall apart (because this is life and that’s what happens sometimes). He gave me such an overwhelming sense of peace. It blew me away. I had my answer. And so far, so good! I’ll tell you about something that happened recently that showed me that God is powerful and faithful…
When I felt like I had been doing pretty well, I had a weird experience. I woke up in the night, all of a sudden feeling incredibly anxious, absolutely terrified. Of what? I don’t even know. It felt like an attack. All these scary sounds and thoughts were swirling around in my head and I became so overwhelmed. It wouldn’t stop. I thought I was going nuts. This had never happened to me before. Not like this. I tried to pray but no words came. I couldn’t even think. For some reason, all that kept popping into my head was the story about Jesus during a storm…
That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”
Mark 4:35-41
In desperation, and for lack of any other words, I prayed, “Jesus, please calm this storm!” Immediately, everything in my head went quiet. Immediately. Just like the storm. My heart stopped racing and I went back to sleep. Just like that! The next morning, it dawned on me what really happened. It still blows my mind even now. God had never answered my prayer so directly, so promptly! But when I thought about it, I realized I had asked for help many times but I never really believed. This time, my relationship with Him was so much stronger and for the first time, I trusted that He would help me. And He did! Are you a bit weirded out by my experience? I know, I know, it was weird. Probably the weirdest experience I’ve ever had. But after that, God’s power is more real to me now than ever before. That was a game changer for me.
The more I trust God, the more He shows His faithfulness. He’s been waiting for me, patiently and lovingly, while I’ve been learning to lean on Him. And each time I do, He’s been steady as a rock. My refuge and my hope. I love Him more and more with each day that passes.
If you find yourself feeling down, especially if it happens all too often – get outside and get some fresh air. People say that a lot, but that’s because it’s true! It doesn’t have to include running. Just a walk will do. Get some sunshine on your beautiful face. You won’t regret it xx
Some of you, maybe many of you, may have cringed when I mentioned going for a run as part of my fun. I get it, I do! I only started running about 3 months before I became pregnant with my second daughter. I never thought I’d enjoy it. But when I started running after she was born (she was 4 months old) it was out of necessity. My medication for my anxiety/PND wasn’t right and it wasn’t helping. It was a few months before it got sorted out and I didn’t know how to cope, in limbo, waiting for counselling. I was desperate to get my head out of the haze, to ‘snap’ myself out of it somehow. And while running didn’t cure it, it sure did help. I was so low, feeling so helpless and hopeless. My head felt so out of my control. I started wondering what it would feel like, to be free from this. I fantasized about ending it all, several times. Just thinking about it almost gave me relief. But they were just thoughts. At no point was I ever going to go through with it. All it took was for me to think of my girls and I knew I could never do that to them. I’m one of the lucky ones. Some people are so deep in depression that nothing has enough hold to keep them here. My heart aches for them and their loved ones. I knew I was heading down a dangerous path in my thinking though, and I had to change something. So, I started running. It was hard. Really hard! It took several weeks for me to not practically collapse at the front door when I finished. But, I had to do it for my family, so I stuck to it. 3 or 4 times a week.
The change in me was amazing! I became much more productive on days when I had been for a run. I became more pleasant to be around. More cheerful, relaxed and patient. Less irritable. Some days, my husband would get home and after a few minutes would say, “You haven’t been for a run, have you?” Ouch. But it was true every time he said that! That’s how much difference it made. The sense of achievement was great! There have been many, many days when I didn’t feel like it and made excuses, but his encouragement got me out the door. That was kind of the hardest bit, getting my gear on and just getting out the door.
It’s really hard to stick to it, especially with my one-year-old not sleeping through most nights, and very often my 3-year-old decides to get on board, and I end up getting up several times a lot of the nights. I could make a lot of excuses for not getting out there and doing my run, and I’d probably feel quite justified. I’m tired. I haven’t had a whole night’s sleep in weeks! I have so much to do…
But excuses don’t get the job done. And I really need the endorphins to keep coming at me. So if I haven’t gotten much sleep – who cares? If I have a lot to do – running is a top priority. Just. Do. It.
While I’m doing pretty well these days, I want to look after myself and be the best version of myself – for my sake and for everyone else’s! I’m finally medication free, as of a couple of weeks ago! So, it’s time to put some healthy habits in place (or keep ‘em going!). Kind of funny, I initially felt quite anxious about the idea of coming off my anxiety medication. It makes me giggle, the irony of it. But here I am – in one piece. One functioning piece. Who knew I could do it? While I was out for a run a few weeks ago, I was praying about what to do about this medication business. I’ve found my running time to also be a really good time for praying – even if it’s only a desperate, almost comical, “Give me strength!” kind of prayer. It’s been a great time for praying for others too. So, I was running and praying about what to do, and God told me that He would take care of me when things fall apart (because this is life and that’s what happens sometimes). He gave me such an overwhelming sense of peace. It blew me away. I had my answer. And so far, so good! I’ll tell you about something that happened recently that showed me that God is powerful and faithful…
When I felt like I had been doing pretty well, I had a weird experience. I woke up in the night, all of a sudden feeling incredibly anxious, absolutely terrified. Of what? I don’t even know. It felt like an attack. All these scary sounds and thoughts were swirling around in my head and I became so overwhelmed. It wouldn’t stop. I thought I was going nuts. This had never happened to me before. Not like this. I tried to pray but no words came. I couldn’t even think. For some reason, all that kept popping into my head was the story about Jesus during a storm…
That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”
Mark 4:35-41
In desperation, and for lack of any other words, I prayed, “Jesus, please calm this storm!” Immediately, everything in my head went quiet. Immediately. Just like the storm. My heart stopped racing and I went back to sleep. Just like that! The next morning, it dawned on me what really happened. It still blows my mind even now. God had never answered my prayer so directly, so promptly! But when I thought about it, I realized I had asked for help many times but I never really believed. This time, my relationship with Him was so much stronger and for the first time, I trusted that He would help me. And He did! Are you a bit weirded out by my experience? I know, I know, it was weird. Probably the weirdest experience I’ve ever had. But after that, God’s power is more real to me now than ever before. That was a game changer for me.
The more I trust God, the more He shows His faithfulness. He’s been waiting for me, patiently and lovingly, while I’ve been learning to lean on Him. And each time I do, He’s been steady as a rock. My refuge and my hope. I love Him more and more with each day that passes.
If you find yourself feeling down, especially if it happens all too often – get outside and get some fresh air. People say that a lot, but that’s because it’s true! It doesn’t have to include running. Just a walk will do. Get some sunshine on your beautiful face. You won’t regret it xx
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