Mariet

Tonight, I’ve found myself all alone at home and the introvert in me is having the best one-woman party! Evening run, nice hot bath with bath bomb, candle, a cheeky shot of baileys, and a good book. After a crazy week in which I was out all evening 6 out of the 7 days, I was craving some recharge time. Some of you, maybe many of you, may have cringed when I mentioned going for a run as part of my fun. I get it, I do! I only started running about 3 months before I became pregnant with my second daughter. I never thought I’d enjoy it. But when I started running after she was born (she was 4 months old) it was out of necessity. My medication for my anxiety/PND wasn’t right and it wasn’t helping. It was a few months before it got sorted out and I didn’t know how to cope, in limbo, waiting for counselling. I was desperate to get my head out of the haze, to ‘snap’ myself out of it somehow. And while running didn’t cure it, it sure did help. I was so low, feeling so helpless and hopeless.

It's a lovely, peaceful Sunday night and husband is out, the kids are in bed. Even more than that - they're asleep. Hoorah!  And so, I find myself able to think!  If I could high-five myself - I would.   I love my girls dearly, I do, but it's sooo nice to just sit down and unpack your thoughts, right? Life is busy when they're young. 'Stop the three-year-old from changing toddler's nappy', 'clean up the trail of toothpaste down the hallway', 'wind the 5km toilet paper back up again' kind of busy.  So I've been thinking about how my day looks these days, compared to not long ago, and even if it doesn't look a whole lot different, it feels different. I approach my day in a very different way now. I have to admit, until lately, I've been a lukewarm Christian. Living in apathy, hoping someone else would take one for the team and do something that counts. Every Sunday I'd promise myself I wouldn't just be a Sunday Christian

Hi! I've been blogging about my anxiety adventures, if you haven't been here before. A very warm welcome to you! This post, however is going to go down a slightly random path. Well, perhaps for you, but for me it is a well-trodden one! You see, I've been writing poems since I was a kid - on and off, through various chapters of my life. Sometimes I wrote a lot, sometimes not at all. But it's always been running in my veins. I've found that most of my poems are a bit sad, and I guess that's because it's how I express myself when I can't quite explain how I feel. Not a lot of happy poems! I've written probably at least a couple hundred or something, but I could count the happy ones on just one hand. Anyway, I was doing some spring cleaning (yeah, I know, bit late since we're in Autumn now) and I stumbled across some poems I wrote a while back, maybe a year ago if I was to guess. Wow. It really transported me back to where I was at during that time

Hey guys, thanks for following me on what I now call 'My Anxiety Adventure'. It almost sounds positive, right? Cup half full and whatnot! I think I'll roll with it. It's mine and I can call it whatever I want :-)  Anxiety has been with me a long, long time. Some people have told me that they had no idea it was an issue for me. But I’ve had a lifetime of practicing the art of hiding it. I always tried to hide it as much as possible. Like a duck on water – calm on top, but underneath there’s a whole lot of flapping going on! My symptoms have toned down quite a lot, due to a mix of things. Counselling. Exercise. Volunteer work. Medication was necessary for me, especially to be able to continue caring for my babies. I’m still currently on medication. In the last few months I have also felt a huge shift in my relationship with God. I’ve become more spiritually mature, more trusting of Him and in return have felt His presence and leading more than ever before. I have to