Control - That Elusive Thing
Hi, my name is Mariet. It's been 3 days since my last decent sleep.
I have a pounding headache and while we're on the subject, I feel a bit nauseous, actually.
Sometimes you try everything, but the kids still wake up during the night. I've gone through phases of frustration, acceptance...... mostly frustration.....
Last night it was a bottle for Little D at about 2am, then she woke up screaming blue murder an hour later for who knows what reason. Then big sister started whining about her sheets. Then later on she needed the toilet, slammed the door and woke up little D. Then the blasted birds started chirping like it was Christmas morning and I knew that was it. No more sleep.
Sometimes I just want to scream.
Mums and Dads - please say I'm not the only one?
Have you ever felt like you are grasping for control over situations even though you know it's out of your hands? You know you have to just go with it and handle it with grace (snort!) because really, there's not an awful lot you can do about it.
Just ride it out...
I've been feeling a bit like that lately about other things too, and it makes me downright panicky when I let my mind wander down all the paths and possibilities of ways that I could somehow make things go my way. It's a really fear-driven thing and it's so hard to let go. In my life at the moment, there are so many unknowns. So many directions my family could take, with each having different consequences - some small, some big. I've been making myself dizzy trying to plan in my head for the possibilities of these things. Just the last couple of sentences have distracted me and sent me on another wild goose chase for concrete answers. The power to see into the future would be real handy about now!
The other day, when these thoughts had really peaked for my husband and I, and it was foremost on our minds, I opened my devotional book (which is written from God's perspective) and the first words hit me like a brick!
"You will not find my peace by excessive planning, attempting to control what will happen to you in the future."
Whoa. I actually stopped right there and read it aloud to my husband. Guilty as charged! We both laughed nervously...
When my mind is spinning with all these plans, peace actually sometimes seems to be within my grasp as I think I've got the answers; but strangely it always eludes me. Just when I thought that I had prepared for all the different possibilities, some unforeseen thing plops itself down in front of us and throws everything into confusion. But, God didn't design our minds to see into the future. It's just not in our capability. He did, however, create our minds for communication with him - continual, constant communication. I can bring to him all my needs, my hopes, and my fears and commit them into his care. The best way for me to do this is to sit quietly. Talk to Him. Lay it all out in front of him. Tell him I'm unsure. Tell him I'm scared. Cast all my anxieties on him because He cares. When I trust God in a certain area of my life, I release that problem.
Really, the most direct route between where you are and where you want to be is the path of unwavering trust in Jesus. The further I go along paths of distrust or lack of belief in what God can accomplish on my behalf, the harder it is to remember that He is with me. My anxious thoughts disorientate me and present so many forks in the road that I just feel totally overwhelmed and fearful. They take me further and further away from the awareness of God's presence.
I'm a control freak. I think there's a control freak in all of us and there are many forms. It comes from fear. We all experience fear, especially fear of the unknown. And well, fear is scary, so I try my best to tone it down with all my crazy plans. But, quietness and trust can be a lot more productive than running around like a headless chicken, trying to plan for a future that you just can't possibly see right now. I then have more energy for the things I can do. I'm learning to trust God completely and not lean so much on what I think I should do. I've found that when I go to God for guidance and surrender my will to him, he gives me peace and the ability to wait patiently for him. God's plan for me is infinitely better than whatever I have planned for myself. He knows what is going to happen and He knows me so much better than I know myself. I need to continually humble myself and acknowledge God in whatever I do, and He will pave the way. It may not be in the direction I had thought I might go, but God is good and he will show me the best way to go.
What I need is to see things more and more from God's perspective. I need to view the world through him. When little things go wrong in my life, I need to learn to lightheartedly look to God and say, "Never mind." Having that "oh, well" attitude can protect me from the piles and piles of trivial issues and frustrations. I know I will realize that the vast majority of things that I spend my time stressing about are actually not important. So the kids woke up a few times. So one of them is obsessed with hiding my jewelry all over the house and I can barely match 2 earrings. So the kids won't stop fighting. So I'm tired. They're young! This too shall pass. If I can train myself to shrug these things off more often, I know I will get through my days in a more joyful and carefree way. With a happy, contented heart. When big issues do come along, I'll actually have the energy to face them.
So, to all the other chronic planners out there - just stop. Sit down and spend a few moments doing 'handover' with God. Tell him you're knocking off for the day. Do what you need to do, and let God do the rest. After all, that is what he asks us to do. I'm talking to myself just as much as I'm talking to you, believe me.
Let him do what you cannot. Let it go (I'm sorry, I know you're going to get that Frozen song stuck in your head now....).
But seriously, let it go.
"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6: 34
Put in perspective, our troubles are light and momentary compared to the beauty and wonder of heaven. Guys, Jesus asks us to unload ourselves. He wants us to. He wants us to have peace of mind and rest in him.
So go ahead - hand over that crowded calendar. He can handle it xx
I have a pounding headache and while we're on the subject, I feel a bit nauseous, actually.
Sometimes you try everything, but the kids still wake up during the night. I've gone through phases of frustration, acceptance...... mostly frustration.....
Last night it was a bottle for Little D at about 2am, then she woke up screaming blue murder an hour later for who knows what reason. Then big sister started whining about her sheets. Then later on she needed the toilet, slammed the door and woke up little D. Then the blasted birds started chirping like it was Christmas morning and I knew that was it. No more sleep.
Sometimes I just want to scream.
Mums and Dads - please say I'm not the only one?
Have you ever felt like you are grasping for control over situations even though you know it's out of your hands? You know you have to just go with it and handle it with grace (snort!) because really, there's not an awful lot you can do about it.
Just ride it out...
I've been feeling a bit like that lately about other things too, and it makes me downright panicky when I let my mind wander down all the paths and possibilities of ways that I could somehow make things go my way. It's a really fear-driven thing and it's so hard to let go. In my life at the moment, there are so many unknowns. So many directions my family could take, with each having different consequences - some small, some big. I've been making myself dizzy trying to plan in my head for the possibilities of these things. Just the last couple of sentences have distracted me and sent me on another wild goose chase for concrete answers. The power to see into the future would be real handy about now!
The other day, when these thoughts had really peaked for my husband and I, and it was foremost on our minds, I opened my devotional book (which is written from God's perspective) and the first words hit me like a brick!
"You will not find my peace by excessive planning, attempting to control what will happen to you in the future."
Whoa. I actually stopped right there and read it aloud to my husband. Guilty as charged! We both laughed nervously...
When my mind is spinning with all these plans, peace actually sometimes seems to be within my grasp as I think I've got the answers; but strangely it always eludes me. Just when I thought that I had prepared for all the different possibilities, some unforeseen thing plops itself down in front of us and throws everything into confusion. But, God didn't design our minds to see into the future. It's just not in our capability. He did, however, create our minds for communication with him - continual, constant communication. I can bring to him all my needs, my hopes, and my fears and commit them into his care. The best way for me to do this is to sit quietly. Talk to Him. Lay it all out in front of him. Tell him I'm unsure. Tell him I'm scared. Cast all my anxieties on him because He cares. When I trust God in a certain area of my life, I release that problem.
Really, the most direct route between where you are and where you want to be is the path of unwavering trust in Jesus. The further I go along paths of distrust or lack of belief in what God can accomplish on my behalf, the harder it is to remember that He is with me. My anxious thoughts disorientate me and present so many forks in the road that I just feel totally overwhelmed and fearful. They take me further and further away from the awareness of God's presence.
I'm a control freak. I think there's a control freak in all of us and there are many forms. It comes from fear. We all experience fear, especially fear of the unknown. And well, fear is scary, so I try my best to tone it down with all my crazy plans. But, quietness and trust can be a lot more productive than running around like a headless chicken, trying to plan for a future that you just can't possibly see right now. I then have more energy for the things I can do. I'm learning to trust God completely and not lean so much on what I think I should do. I've found that when I go to God for guidance and surrender my will to him, he gives me peace and the ability to wait patiently for him. God's plan for me is infinitely better than whatever I have planned for myself. He knows what is going to happen and He knows me so much better than I know myself. I need to continually humble myself and acknowledge God in whatever I do, and He will pave the way. It may not be in the direction I had thought I might go, but God is good and he will show me the best way to go.
What I need is to see things more and more from God's perspective. I need to view the world through him. When little things go wrong in my life, I need to learn to lightheartedly look to God and say, "Never mind." Having that "oh, well" attitude can protect me from the piles and piles of trivial issues and frustrations. I know I will realize that the vast majority of things that I spend my time stressing about are actually not important. So the kids woke up a few times. So one of them is obsessed with hiding my jewelry all over the house and I can barely match 2 earrings. So the kids won't stop fighting. So I'm tired. They're young! This too shall pass. If I can train myself to shrug these things off more often, I know I will get through my days in a more joyful and carefree way. With a happy, contented heart. When big issues do come along, I'll actually have the energy to face them.
So, to all the other chronic planners out there - just stop. Sit down and spend a few moments doing 'handover' with God. Tell him you're knocking off for the day. Do what you need to do, and let God do the rest. After all, that is what he asks us to do. I'm talking to myself just as much as I'm talking to you, believe me.
Let him do what you cannot. Let it go (I'm sorry, I know you're going to get that Frozen song stuck in your head now....).
But seriously, let it go.
"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6: 34
Put in perspective, our troubles are light and momentary compared to the beauty and wonder of heaven. Guys, Jesus asks us to unload ourselves. He wants us to. He wants us to have peace of mind and rest in him.
So go ahead - hand over that crowded calendar. He can handle it xx
Comments
Post a Comment