Go!

Hello! It's been a little while, but I believe in pondering, and I have to do a sufficient amount of pondering before I can turn my tangled thoughts into something that makes sense to you all!

So, for those of you who read my poetry post, you’ve probably gathered that I am a lover of words. When I’m listening to a song, I’m really listening to the words. My husband will testify to that… When we’re in the car and the music is playing, after a while he will say to me, “Are you in your faraway land again?” I’m transported to some other place, mulling over the words. And if the lyrics are awful, in my opinion, not even an amazing melody can save it!

There are some songs (and their lyrics) that are really close to me and have a special place in my heart, and I’ve decided that I’ll tell you about one of them…

After having my first daughter, I really felt a storm brewing. In fact, it was already raging in my head shortly after her birth. In those fragile first few days, I was holding my baby girl while she slept and listening to some music that my husband put on. It was a quiet Sunday morning. A song started playing and the beautiful words just met me right where I was. I couldn’t take my eyes off my beautiful baby, the one I had wanted for so long. An overwhelming sense of peace and gratefulness to God washed over me. The tears started flowing, and my husband and sister, who were also in the room, probably thought, “Oh, here we go again…”, since I had been quite an emotional wreck from day one. But for once, they were happy tears of peace and contentment. That was the only time in my life that I ever cried tears of happiness. Although, it was short-lived, it was a moment of pure joy and comfort in the middle of turmoil. A glimpse of hope.

Here are the lyrics:

Oceans (where feet may fail)

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Saviour

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

I really encourage you to follow this link to the song and listen to it when you have a few moments to yourself….

That moment was nearly 4 years ago. Over the last 4 years, that song’s meaning has changed for me. At first, it assured me that God was right there in the trenches with me, my refuge and rock – the one that I belong to. A comfort thing, really. And right then, that’s what I needed. I still do, often. I loved the reminder of how powerful God is. This world is a scary place sometimes, but God will not fail me. I also needed to remember to keep my head above the water by calling out to Him, instead of relying on myself – which has never worked and quite frankly, is the reason for many of the messes I find myself in!

Later, its meaning shifted for me, challenging and urging me to trust God fully and step out in faith - to do things that require God to come through for me. I need to make it a habit to put myself in situations that terrify me a little and require God to come through. That’s when I genuinely experience life and God. Those times have been some of the best times in my life. When I trust God, He comes through for me.  I have changed. A person who has committed themselves to God cannot remain the same. One day, God will ask us, “What did you do with what I gave you?” I will be held accountable. God is not concerned with what I’ve done compared to others. My petty excuses will not matter. It’s between me and God. It’s always been between me and God. The same way that what you’ve done has always been between you and God. 

I want to fight the good fight. I want to keep the faith and finish the race. I don’t want to become complacent. What have I been doing all this time? I just want to live every day with the love that God has asked of me, with the help of His Spirit. This isn’t about being fixated on the ten commandments. Yes, they make sense. Do not steal. Do not murder. Those are sensible rules to follow. What I’m talking about though, is the two, simple commandments Jesus gave us. Love God. Love people.

How we live our days is how we live our lives. If we’re waiting for that day when we are going to wake up and know exactly what to do and where to go, we might completely miss God’s calling for our lives. We need to figure out and explore, each for ourselves, how we are going to love God and love people this very day. Pray about it. Ask God for courage. But get started in the meantime. The more you do what you know Jesus wants us all to do, the clearer His voice will become about what He has in mind just for you. Get moving, and He will direct your steps.

Now, go! xx