Blah.
Five and a half months in and I don't know if I've made that much progress. Some days, I feel like I'm finally back to 'normal' - whatever that is. But often, I feel like anxiety is lurking just below the surface, and I know that if I wasn't on medication, I'd be a mess right now. I know that. It keeps me from falling over the edge, no matter how close I get. My very recent Wellington trip made me realize that. I flew with my five-month-old boy and my five-year-old. That went surprisingly well. What I wasn't prepared for was for my cruisy baby to be really unsettled at night, with 2 of the nights waking every single hour! I felt like a zombie. I'd get up in the morning, feeling like I had been run over by a bus, but after breakfast started feeling okay and more energetic. Then afternoon would come and I felt as if I had hit a brick wall. I just wanted to sleep! As evening approached, I felt that oh-so-familiar sense of dread creeping up on me. It